Love

Today, my bible study asked me what possession I treasured most. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I treasure my kiki (my baby blanket) the most. I know I'm 19 but I make no apologies for still sleeping with her every night. I began to think about why she was so special to me. I think its because she is a source of comfort. I've had her since I was 6 months old. And she hasn't had a bath since then (I'm kidding). She has been there through every painful and wonderful thing in my life. When my uncle died I held her. When I got my wisdom teeth out I held her. Whenever I get my heart hurt I hold her. She's been here since the beginning and is the only thing on earth who knows when I cry myself to sleep. She is so special to me and all she is a soft piece of cloth. As lame as it is, she is my most treasured possession (besides my cat).

And then the bible study told me to read this verse:

"For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession" Deut 7:6

I honestly cannot wrap my head around being God's most treasured possession. And it dawned on me that God is like my kiki. He has been there since the beginning. He knows everything about me. He's been there through every wonderful and painful thing in my life. He alone knows when I cry myself to sleep. And He is not just a soft piece of cloth. He's God.

Another powerful verse that my bible study talked about is Zep 3:17:

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing"

That verse has so much in it. If you really think about it, its overwhelming. I see all the mistakes I've made in my life. I have a really hard time believing either of these verses. And I think if everyone was honest, they do too. But I think we all want to.

In my humble opinion, all humans want is love. Not everyone will admit it. And often, most go about searching for love in the wrong places. And some think they really are looking for power, fame, or money. But really its the desire to be wanted, esteemed and...loved. So we stop at nothing to get what we want. And all we get in return is pain and deeper desire to be loved.

I know that the verse above is true. I would stake my life on it. I know Jesus loves me, but often I forget how much. And these past few weeks I can really see how He has been quieting my soul with His love. I'm not going to pretend I understand God, He's a mystery. But I think I'm being to realize how great a mystery He is. And I think I'm starting to not just "know" it, but really believe it down deep, in the marrow of my bones.

All I can say to Him is thank you. Because I don't deserve it.