Live

What if we knew exactly what was going to happen in our lives? What if we knew the date of our loved ones death, the date we would meet our future spouse, the date of our first child's birth....everything? Would we live differently? Would we distance ourselves from someone if we knew they would die the next day, to spare ourselves from pain? Or would we dive in, and love deeply and fully and end up with a broken heart? I've had many conversations with a friend of mine. They like to think about everything logically, and I don't. I like to dive into life, and often don't think about the consequences. Although, the more I have thought about it, the more I have come to the conclusion that I am right (Duh). But also that they are right too (ehh...).

I believe Jesus created us to love deeply. We are created to be passionate and give everything. This life isn't a rehearsal for the real thing, it is the real thing. But what about wisdom? If we are supposed to give everything and love fearlessly, isn't that reckless? Won't we wind up hurt? Why do something that will guarantee pain? Every relationship you have will end. Whether by death or by something else, its going to end. Its a depressing thought. When someone told me this, I thought it was extremely morbid, and they were a "glass half empty" kind of person. And that might be true. So now that we have all had a reality check, the next question is "Is it worth it?". Is it worth loving someone (parents, spouse, significant other, children, coworkers etc) knowing the risk?

Yes.

Heck yes.

Jesus loved those who hated Him. He died for people who hated Him. He loved fearlessly, fully knowing people would reject Him. And thats what we need to do too. Someone told me "But I don't know what God's will is!" That's kind of the point. We have step out in faith, knowing God will do something good. We aren't called to save the world, that's Jesus' job. We don't know what is going to happen, but we have to trust.

And we'll always have the memories. Beautiful memories. Even though there might be pain in relationship, its always worth it. You'll always have the memory of the persons smile or an inside joke. I would rather love and know what its like to be loved than to have protected myself so much that I don't know whats it like. My uncle passed away in 2008. It sucks, but I'll always have the hilarious and wonderful memories.

And its important to be wise. Even though we are called to live and love fearlessly and trust God no matter what, we still have to be wise. We have to think before we speak and realize not everyone should be allowed into every corner of your heart.

So....go love someone. Live and love fearlessly.

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."Psalm 62:8

This video says everything I'm trying to convey...check it out!

Love

Today, my bible study asked me what possession I treasured most. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I treasure my kiki (my baby blanket) the most. I know I'm 19 but I make no apologies for still sleeping with her every night. I began to think about why she was so special to me. I think its because she is a source of comfort. I've had her since I was 6 months old. And she hasn't had a bath since then (I'm kidding). She has been there through every painful and wonderful thing in my life. When my uncle died I held her. When I got my wisdom teeth out I held her. Whenever I get my heart hurt I hold her. She's been here since the beginning and is the only thing on earth who knows when I cry myself to sleep. She is so special to me and all she is a soft piece of cloth. As lame as it is, she is my most treasured possession (besides my cat).

And then the bible study told me to read this verse:

"For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession" Deut 7:6

I honestly cannot wrap my head around being God's most treasured possession. And it dawned on me that God is like my kiki. He has been there since the beginning. He knows everything about me. He's been there through every wonderful and painful thing in my life. He alone knows when I cry myself to sleep. And He is not just a soft piece of cloth. He's God.

Another powerful verse that my bible study talked about is Zep 3:17:

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing"

That verse has so much in it. If you really think about it, its overwhelming. I see all the mistakes I've made in my life. I have a really hard time believing either of these verses. And I think if everyone was honest, they do too. But I think we all want to.

In my humble opinion, all humans want is love. Not everyone will admit it. And often, most go about searching for love in the wrong places. And some think they really are looking for power, fame, or money. But really its the desire to be wanted, esteemed and...loved. So we stop at nothing to get what we want. And all we get in return is pain and deeper desire to be loved.

I know that the verse above is true. I would stake my life on it. I know Jesus loves me, but often I forget how much. And these past few weeks I can really see how He has been quieting my soul with His love. I'm not going to pretend I understand God, He's a mystery. But I think I'm being to realize how great a mystery He is. And I think I'm starting to not just "know" it, but really believe it down deep, in the marrow of my bones.

All I can say to Him is thank you. Because I don't deserve it.

Change

The next couple of years are going to be different. Everything is changing. It's kind of scary. I'll be a for real grown up. Going off to a university, being on my own for the first time, and trusting God with my relationships.

Its time to become who I want to be. To become the person I have stuck in my head. I want to love fearlessly. I want to become so in love with Jesus that the people around me want to know what I have. I want to try new things. I want to dance. And do the things I never had the courage to do before. I want to celebrate and embrace the ordinary things.

I want to trust Him with everything I have. I don't want to be crippled by unbelief anymore.

"Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand"
Psalm 20:6

-Ria