Is it just me or is everyone and their mom getting married?
Or suddenly in a relationship?
Or getting engaged? (I guess that's pretty much 'getting married')
I am quite happy for all these people, I really truly am. I think they are all very good marriages that will last forever if they continue to follow God. What is somewhat unsettling to me is that they are all in my age range.
And I'm 20 (but I look like I'm 15).
Also, these people aren't just my friends sister or people I don't really talk to...they are really good friends. People I enjoy community with on a fairly regular basis.
The whole situation has left me feeling utterly alone. I only have one other friend at home who is single (actually 2, but she's half way around the world right now). And it kinda sucks. Not because I want to be in a relationship, but because I feel like I have to be which is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of in my life.
I am constantly annoyed with myself for feeling this way. Society says that if you don't have a boyfriend/ girlfriend that something is wrong with you. Society says you aren't really a whole person without having a romantic relationship. And, society says that you can't really be happy if you aren't in one.
BULL.
But, I want to be loved. I want to be special. I want to be someone's first choice. I'm not right now. All my friends would rather hang out with their fiances/boyfriends/ husbands before me. And that's the way it should be. And in all honestly, I'm fine with not being their first choice. But I do want to be somebody's first choice.
And I am.
I'm Gods.
If you're like me, you feel a tad bit guilty that doesn't excite you as much as it should. I would submit to you that that is because God is too small in our minds and hearts.
I've been doing Beth Moore's bible study "Living Free". And I think it really is her best one. Its focused on praying the Word of God. I think its a must read for every believer...male and female. It's powerful. And incredibly needed.
Every time I spend time doing it I feel as though water is poured over my thirsty soul. I feel whole. I feel known. I feel deeply, deeply loved. I have the assurance that everything really will be okay.
If you are battling loneliness here's some things that have really helped me.
- get a hobby
- have a daily time with God
- pick a piece of scripture and really meditate on it (I LOVE Psalm 23)
- listen to worship music (a lot of secular songs often cause us to focus on circumstances rather than on God)
- do the things YOU like to do and what makes YOU happy and don't care what other people think (I love hedgehogs and try to go to pet stores and play with them and I also like drawing cartoon animals and dancing)
- do something you've always wanted to do but haven't (I'd like to become an amazing chef)
- and PRAY PRAY PRAY. Make God your best friend. Try to make EVERY thought a prayer. Make Him number one in your life. (I have heard AMAZING things about the book "Practicing His Presence" and when I get my hands on it, I'll be sure to let y'all know how it was!)
I hope this encourages you and gives you some practical advice about loneliness.
Huge love and coke zero,
Riarose
